Ruby Tuesdays: A Mighty Woman (part one)

Last week, Refresh Mom posted a meme of sorts (what does that word mean anyway?) on her blog called “Ruby Tuesdays”. You can read more about it here. If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you probably understand that I’m not one for this type of thing; still and yet, something drew me toward this one, and today I make my first offering in a series of Tuesday posts that will be directly linked to my thoughts about the Proverbs 31 woman. I know that http://refreshmoments.com/welcomes your participation in Ruby Tuesdays at any level.

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10).

She’s always bothered me, this P31 woman. Not for the reasons you might think. I’m all about her flaxen and her early morning arrivals to the scene of her life. Her trading and her sewing, her spinning and her wisdom. Indeed, all noble qualities of an exceptional woman … back then. But this is now, and sometimes, it’s hard to draw the parallel between the two.What bothers me about her is that I’m not her. I don’t imagine that in my wildest imaginings I will ever hold that honor. And to be honest with you, a part of me resents her as my standard—bearer, the measuring stick to be used for my measuring up.

That being said, her epitaph is a worthy read. After all, it’s a part of holy writ—intended for contemplation and assimilation. And while I don’t reason her to be the sum total of my perfection, I think her life worthy of more than my immediate dismissal. It’s an itch that I need to scratch, if for nothing more than to find the ointment to soothe the ache between what I am and what God longs for me to be.

A rare find.

A woman worth more than rubies. A woman of noble character.

Noble. Chayil in the Hebrew language, a masculine noun meaning, “strength, might, ability, and efficiency.”[i]

Thus, a loose translation of Proverbs 31:10 … “A wife of strength, might, ability, and efficiency, who can find? She is more valuable than rubies.”

To understand the depth of such a statement, one must understand the worthy nature of a ruby. Accordingly, my contemplation begins.

1. A ruby is one of four precious gemstones, the others being a sapphire, emerald, and diamond. Precious gemstones are less common requiring a harder dig and a more intensive search, therefore increasing their value; semi-precious stones are more readily available, easier to find, and easier to pocket.

A woman of noble character, therefore, is a precious gem, less common and more valuable.

2. A ruby is admired and cherished for its color. Its color ranges from pink to blood red, with a vivid, medium dark-toned red (sometimes coined as a “pigeon red blood”) being the most desirable. Another words, the richer and deeper the hue, the more valuable the stone.

A woman of noble character, therefore, is a woman who exhibits the rich and the deep of a sacrificial blood.

3. A ruby is valuable because of its hardness. Hardness is a term used to describe the durability of a substance. The harder the gemstone, the higher its resistance to various kinds of shape change when force is applied.[ii]

A woman of noble character, therefore, is a woman not easily shaped by outside forces. Instead, her tough exterior allows her the careful protection over her tender interior.

4. A ruby carries imperfections within. The inclusions of rutile within the ruby verify its authenticity. Rutile is a mineral resembling silk like needles or slender crystals that occur naturally within the formation of certain stones over time. Rather than detracting from a ruby’s worth, it adds value because of its capacity to create asterism.

A woman of noble character, therefore, is a woman who allows her “needles” their place toward exemplifying her worth.

5. With multiple rutile intersecting at the correct angles, a ruby holds the capacity for asterism. Asterism is an “exclusive light effect (which we called special optical phenomenon) of some crystal. When light pass through these crystals, its exhibit [is] a star-shaped figure, which [is] called “asterism”. This figure is produced by reflected or transmitted light.”[iii] For one to “see” the asterism, the stone must be illuminated.

A woman of noble character, therefore, is a woman who allows her needles the Light’s illumination from within and behind in order to project the beauty of her star to an outward audience.

Thus, a ruby…

is a precious and harder to find gemstone.
is colored with the rich and deep of a sacrificial red.
is hard and resistant to the insistence of outside forces.
is filled with needle-like imperfections.
contains the capacity for a star’s illumination.

A woman of strength and might, a P31 woman?

Well, all of this and more. Indeed, who can find a woman like that? Better still, who can shape and mold a woman accordingly?

Only One. And He did. And He does. And He is and will always be…

the Light—our behind the scenes illumination—who purifies and refines our inward so that our outward becomes the stuff of star status. A noble and sacred beholding that points the way to Jesus and that leads the way to his heart.

May He be found in me this day. May He be found in you also. Thus, I pray…

Let me be a rare find in your kingdom today, Lord. Refine my imperfections for your glory, and shine your light through me so that others might see your star and find their way home. You are the Star, Father, not me. Forgive me for ever thinking otherwise. Make me strong; make me mighty; make me holy, and keep me willing and on the path to your perfection in me. How I long to be a precious jewel in your crown. Amen.

 

Copyright © March 2009 – Elaine Olsen

[i] http://studylight.org/desk/?l=en&query=Proverbs+31&section=0&translation=nsn&oq=&sr=1
[ii] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardness
[iii] http://www.jewelinfo4u.com/Asterism_in_Gems.aspx

~elaine

PS: Congrats to Beth E. She’s the winner of a family resource from the previous post. Please email me your selection, Beth!

A Sabbath Pause, Some Parenting Thoughts, and a Giveaway

A Sabbath Pause, Some Parenting Thoughts, and a Giveaway

It’s been a good Sabbath rest for me and my family. The highlight?

Watching my almost twenty-year-old son as he stood in our church fellowship hall, serving up drinks over the noon-time meal. Why?

Because I was reminded, once again, about the fine young man that he’s becoming and that his growing up Godly has been no accidental pursuit. It’s been a hard-fought deliberation—a combination of parental intention, his cooperation, and a whole lot of grace served downward from on high.

I blinked and nearly two decades of my life have traveled the miles and through the years and enveloped my best efforts at parenting within the flesh and frame of a boy whom I call Nick. And while I cannot predict (or would even want to) how the next twenty are going to breathe, today I bask in the truth that growing Godly kids is not only possible, but it is probable when done so through the trust and faith in a God who’s brought into the process … a lot.

Nick, along with a dozen other members of our church, will return to Bolivia this summer for more mission work at the Kory Wawanca Children’s Home in the mountainous region of Tacachia. Remember his post from last summer? My husband will not be making the trip this time, and so there’s a bit of a sting in this mother’s heart for the release of my son to his journey–a journey without any parental involvement to go alongside … at least not in the physical.

Still and yet, my worries about the potential risks involved wouldn’t keep him from it. Life is filled with risk … with unknowns … with walks along the street where the corners up ahead provide all manner of intrigue and possibility. And while, as a mother, I would sometimes like to be the one to absorb those corners on behalf of my children, I am fairly confident that it would stunt their growth. Mine too.

Parenting involves a great deal of trust for the process of an eighteen year seeding and beyond. At some point, our influence—our shaping and our guidance—needs some room to breathe apart from us. Rarely is it an easy approach to these moments, but it is a necessary one. It is a good walk and a good trust and good growing for all parties involved.

Thus, Bolivia and Nick without any parents this time, yet fully and completely with the God who held him first and who loves him best. It’s time to turn that corner, friends, and I am ready for some new growth as a mom.

Perhaps, some of you are in your own season of “letting go” and learning to trust the process of your parenting. Perhaps many of you are still in the midst of the training years. Perhaps, there are a few of you who are profoundly longing for your turn at this parenting thing. Regardless of your station in the journey—whether in the prelude, in the middle, or in the aftermath—parenting is a sacred trust and should not be entered into lightly.

It is a profundity that exceeds expectation. A complexity that forces the issue of our maturity. In the end, I am confident that God will use my parenting as a tool toward my perfection. Kids do that … perfect us in a way that would otherwise be missed should we decide to go it alone. Nick has offered me ample opportunities for growth along the way. There are three others who follow him and who will, undoubtedly, continue to proffer me many occasions for growth—mine and theirs. They still walk under my umbrella of influence; they still eat and sleep at the hands of my provision.

And until they walk in independence from my 24/7 constant vigilance, I have a few moments of profound persuasion left within my control. Thus, I will spend them on behalf of kingdom shaping and kingdom purposes so that when the time comes for my children’s autonomous launch from the nest, I can let them go knowing that they go with the truth of Jesus. What they choose to do with that truth is their choice to make, but they will make an informed decision because their parents were willing to sow some seed toward that end while they were yet young.

It is all that I can do. It is the best that I can give. It is the daily choice that I will continue to make for as long as God allows me the journey … corners and all. May I always have the good sense to walk them with the good grace of heaven as my guide. As always,

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As promised, friends, I’ve compiled a short list of some resources that might be helpful to you in your daily life of “doing” family. It is by no means exhaustive, but rather is a jumping off point for you to seek some further guidance in many of the areas that I addressed in my recent posts about purity. Take time to review some of these resources by clicking on the highlighted words, which will link you to the corresponding website.

Leave a comment to today’s post, and I will draw a name to receive a copy of one of the books or CD resources listed. The winner will be announced on Tuesday. You do not need to be a parent to win a prize. All are eligible! Peace to you and yours as you walk this week beneath the light and comfort of Almighty God.

  • The Focus on the Family website is always a good place to begin with all things parenting and family related.
  • One of our favorite family resources from Focus on the Family has been the “Adventures in Odyssey” listening series. Our children have grown up with Mr. Whitaker and Whit’s End and all things Odyssey. Great for road trips and for listening to after bedtime tucks and prayers. I promise! I’ve been addicted for years.

  • Plugged in online: movie reviews/ music reviews/ television reviews. This has been an invaluable resource to us as a family as we make the weekly Blockbuster run for movies!

  • BSafe Online: filter for home computers…very restrictive, but can be tweaked according to parental preferences.

Focus on the Family Radio Interviews (CD’s):

Book resources:

Vicky Courtney Resources:

Good Soil

For Joy… may you find some good soil with our good God this day.

“Then he told them many things in parables, saying: ‘A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He who has ears, let him hear.’” (Matthew 13:3-9).

 

 He who has ears, let him hear.

I’ve been listening to this passage of scripture for several months now. An intentional haunt of sorts, both on my end and on God’s. A hearing so intense that I cannot shake its echo. Let me tell you what my heart has been hearing as I read.

“Good soil.”

Not the well-trampled soil, nor the rocky or the thorny soil, but rather, the good soil.

What qualifies one more than the other? What makes the earth beneath the sower’s seed more viable for the growth over the others? How do we define our lives accordingly … within the sacred ground of the good rather than in the contemptibleness of the others?

Why not the less desired? After all, our lives are mired in the well-trampled and the rocky. Why not some growth in the common place of our common walk rather than in the pasture lands of a lush and green that often seem too far out of reach and too far beyond reason? Why not in the thorny and in the loosened earth that cradles our weary feet?

Good questions. Ones that I have thought a great deal about in recent days. And here’s what I think as it pertains to the seeding of God’s Word into the good soil of our hearts over the seeding of it elsewhere.

Good soil is the preferred breeding ground for God’s best because good soil is the most receptive to its growth.

Good. Kalos in the Greek meaning “good, honorable, beautiful, sound. Good as to quality and character.”[i]

If God’s Word, which is the seed, is to stick and to know the bounty of a fruitful harvest, then it is worthy of an honorable and beautiful soil. A soil of sound and quality character that willingly and carefully guards the sacred planting with all intentions of seeing it come to full bloom.

Good soil is meant for Godly living, but good soil is not always an easy find.

Why?

Because to get to the good one has got to be willing to walk through the others. Good is hidden. Good is deep. Good is buried and is contrary to human nature. But make no mistake, good is there. It just takes getting through a few layers to unearth the soil that was meant to seed the good of God’s intention.

The heart.

A difficult find most days because on most days, the well-trampled and rocky and thorny is the common pounding beneath our feet. Even today, many of you are walking the ills of such a path. Perhaps, you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by the trampling over and upon your lives through the feet of others who claim territorial rights that were never theirs to claim. Perhaps the rocks are the pebbled annoyance that is, not only impeding your progress but is, also, wounding your feet with the jagged rough and cut of sharp intention. Maybe the thorn’s prick against the tender of your moment bleeds too deeply … too suffocating … too fully so as to cut the life out of your faith.

And while our God is more than willing to sow his Word into those moments of our lives, he understands that in those times of difficult pilgrimage, his seed is likely to fall prey to the demands of the immediate, rather than taking root toward the eternal.

Thus, he waits for our rest in the good soil. He commits his time and his energy to the lush and the fertile green and asks for us to pilgrim through the less in order to arrive at his best—the ideal location for a beautiful and honorable planting.

In these moments of uninterrupted pasture, our Father opens up the treasures and secrets of the kingdom and generously pours their seeds into the furrows and gullies of our freshly tilled hearts. Without the well-trampled—the rocks and the thorns—to impede their roots, God’s secrets grow a beautiful crop.

A hundred fold. A sixty fold. A thirty fold. A good output based on a good input by a good God who makes our hearts into a good soil for a good Word. This is the way of a good and gracious life that lives to the full and that pours to the overflow.

I don’t know about you, but I am more than ready and willing to pilgrim the well-trampled, through the rocky and between the thorns, to get to the lush and green of a sacred planting.

Good soil, friends. God’s best. He who has ears, let him hear. Thus, I pray…

Keep me listening to the truth of your Word, God. Plug my ears to the insistent pleas of my temporary and unplug them accordingly to receive the seeds of your truth. Let me not forsake the journey to the verdant for the choking of the urgent. I long to rest in the pasture of your deep and hidden because I long to know the sacred seeding of a divine kingdom. Thank you for the privilege of knowing you, Father. You are good. You are God. Amen.

[i] Entry for “kalos,” The NIV Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible (Chattanooga: AMG Publishing, 1996), 1637.

Copyright © March 2009 – Elaine Olsen

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A Better Thinking

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:6-8).

As Christians, there are some things that we should think about—things worthy of our time and attention and ponderous attention. There are also some things not worthy of our heart’s pause—things that walk contrary to a life that is controlled by and rooted in the Spirit of the living God.

Contrary things walk contrary and breed inconsistencies into the life of a believer. We are forced to grapple with the issue everyday as we seek to live out the tenets of our faith. If not carefully guarded, our hearts become the fertile soil for some seeds that were never meant for the rooting therein.

I know.

Today I host some “bitter seeds,” and I’m confident that bitter doesn’t fall within the “true” and “noble” of Paul’s mindful checklist. Thus, I’m praying the truth of scripture over my wandering thoughts, desiring for God’s peace to be my portion. Always, God’s peace … for the journey.

That’s the heart behind this blog. To give readers an occasion to “pause from the ordinary in order to partake of the Extraordinary.” Peace isn’t an emotion or a temporary state of being. Peace is a person. His name is Jesus, and he intends to be our constant … our Way of doing life, most days in spite of the ebb and flow that works itself into our 24/7.

The “anxious and everything” will always find us. Yours may not look like mine today, but I imagine it to be present. If not in full blown status, then simmering somewhere just beneath the surface of your emotional stable. All of us are but one crisis away from having it voice its loud and its proud into our calm.

Your crisis may not be a huge thing; to the rest of the world, it may seem small and insignificant, but the rest of the world doesn’t live in your world. Your world hosts some tailor made “anxious and everything,” specifically designed to trip your triggers and to expedite your fall accordingly. Instead of recognizing those triggers and bypassing the danger, we allow them their bruising over our lives.

Instead of offering up our prayers and petitions to the only One who can bring peace to our “anxious and everything,” we offer up our own variety of solutions to soothe the ache.

Instead of truth … lies.
Instead of noble … improper.
Instead of right … wrong.
Instead of pure … profane.
Instead of lovely … hateful.
Instead of admirable … defaming.
Instead of excellent … evil.
Instead of praiseworthy … punishment.

Thus, the contrast to Philippians 4:8 …

Whatever is a lie, whatever is improper, whatever is wrong, whatever is profane, whatever is hateful, whatever is defaming, if anything is evil and rife with punishment, think upon such things.[i]

No wonder our worry; no wonder our anxious. No wonder our need to bring everything out into the light and to the foot of the cross for the soothing comfort of a better Peace. Whenever we default to our own solutions of managing the crises that come our way, we are left to the mercy of a depraved mind tilted in the wrong direction and mired in the murky waters of corruptible thinking.

God’s Peace isn’t anchored in that soil. He walked that soil for a season and on our behalf so that our feet wouldn’t have to make the journey. Still and yet, there are days when we choose to marshal our steps along that path, and instead of finding God’s promised Peace, we fuel our “anxious and everything” until it becomes the unmanageable cloaking of our hearts.

It’s a heavy mantle to carry, friends, and a weighing down that I don’t need today; thus, I’m going to take God at his Word, and bring my prayers and petitions to the foot of the cross and leave them there…

*knowing that I’ve been heard.
*believing that my words are kept and held and tended to by the extravagant grace of heaven.
*receiving the Peace that I’ve been promised.

Knowing. Believing. Receiving.

The posture of an uncluttered heart. The hope of this expectant pilgrim. Thus, I pray…

Unclutter me, Father, as I bring it all to your hands and to your understanding this day. I do not want to linger in my bitter and in my confusion. Instead, I give them to you, and ask you to work your will into my way of thinking. Forgive me for trying to manage this one out on my own; instead, teach me to trust you with my “anxious and everything” all the days of my life. You’ve given me your Peace; let my lingering thoughts rest in such a holding today. Amen.

[i] Antithesis based on word study search from The Complete Word Study Dictionary New Testament (Chattannoga: AMG Publishers, 1992).
Copyright © March 2009 – Elaine Olsen

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Part Two: A Mother’s Plea for Purity…

Part Two: A Mother’s Plea for Purity…

UPDATE BELOW…
I never intended on writing my former post; it simply wrote me until I pushed the publish button. That being said, I never intended on writing this follow-up post, but I sense I’ve struck a chord in some of you. That being said, all the chords that I struck weren’t necessarily in tune with mine. I’m OK with that; thus, some further thoughts and, perhaps, some further ones after these. I’m content to follow this chord wherever God leads. My heart is in the right place … next to His … next to yours. Thank you for the privilege of your moments here. I don’t take them lightly; I consider them a gift from God. Shalom!
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“After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, ‘Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome and FIGHT FOR YOUR BROTHERS, YOUR SONS AND YOUR DAUGHTERS, YOUR WIVES AND YOUR HOMES.’” (Nehemiah 4:14).
 


Five years ago, I walked into a local gas station to purchase my forty-four ounce Diet Coke with two teenage sons in tow. That day, I got more than a caffeine jolt; I got a reality jolt—pornographic magazines in full view and within easy reach of any customer. While I was over-filling my cup, I watched my sons catch a whiff of the “yuck” as they passed by for a sniff.

It made me mad. Hopping mad. The kind of mad that stirs a mother’s protective heart and moves her to action. After taking the boys home, I returned to the store and spoke with a manager. I explained to her that I wouldn’t be doing any more business with them until the pornography was removed to an isolated location. At least that way, customers would have to be more intentional about their sin. I further explained about how hard it was for me to raise Godly young men and that this store was making my job more difficult by advertising the “yuck” in such blatant fashion.

I’m not sure if she or the other curious onlookers, who couldn’t help but offer their ears in the matter, really “got” what I was saying, but as I left the premises, I did so knowing that I had sown a seed on behalf of the kingdom … on behalf of the cause of purity. And friends, that’s really the root of the issue.

Purity of heart and life.

My former post focused on how we dress, but really our dressing is only one facet of the issue. Purity encompasses all components of our daily life. Our eating, our drinking, our dressing, our conversation. What we watch, what we read, what we speak, what we hide. How we do, how we don’t, what we will, what we won’t.

Purity is an intentional pursuit. It never happens by accident. Our human nature doesn’t default toward cleanliness. Most days we default toward our fleshly pursuits because most days we operate out of our emotions rather than our will. Purity isn’t based on how we’re feeling; feelings are at the root of most impulsive reactions. Instead, purity is based on the willful decision to act contrary to the flesh.

To walk away, stay away, and refuse the way of a wayward heart.

To follow after, to follow further, to follow harder toward a sacred heart that belongs solely and fully to a Lover who bled long and wide and high and deep for its cleansing.

And until we get that, until we understand that purity is a pursuit rather than an occasional by-product of our salvation, we shouldn’t be surprised when wayward glances and rebellious steps become the norm rather than the exception. Both in us and in those that we love.

Men and women. Boys and girls. Sons and daughters. Nieces and nephews. Grandchildren and the neighbor’s children. All of us stand at risk where purity is concerned. None are exempt from the wily schemes of an enemy whose sole intent is to steal, kill, and destroy. Thus, we must be vigilant in our pursuit of purity. And to be frank, our kids aren’t wise enough to keep to that road on their own.

That is why our Father has put them under our influence, and while I have not always been a perfect parent, I’ve always been a willing one. It is my privilege to be a mother … a woman of profound persuasion in the hearts and lives of my children. At the ages of almost twenty and eighteen, two of them have reached adult status. The others trail a decade behind. Still and yet, they are mine to parent, and for as long as I have breath, I will always go to the mat on behalf of their holiness.

You can be sure that there are others who are willing to seed their hearts to the contrary; I’m well aware of those others. Outside influences continue to interrupt the process of my children’s sacred shaping, but I am vigilant to root them out and to keep them at bay. Madea is alive and well and kicking in this season of their lives.

But there is coming a day and has come a day when my children will walk the fruition of their early shaping. I won’t be there to watch them choose and to guide their hearts as they go. Those moments will be theirs to manage. But they won’t approach them or enter into them without knowing how their parents feel about those moments. Why?

Because in the “now” we are willing to open up our mouths and our hearts about everything while they are yet still with us. We are content to say “no” while others are easy with their “yes.” We are willing to activate parental controls while others are willing to look away. We are consistent with our guidelines while others are consistent with their inconsistencies. We are fervent about our faith journey while others are fervent about their fleshly wants. We are serious about our parenting while others are serious about themselves.

We simply and profoundly are committed to our responsibility as the keepers of a sacred trust—our children. Some days it looks a whole lot like “baseball bats” and “because I said so.” Some days it wraps more tender with an “I’m sorry” or “I could have done that better.” But all days begin and end the same. With love as our guide and with purity as our goal.

For their sake. For our sake. For the kingdom’s sake.

Friends, our homes are worthy of a vigilant fight. If we won’t wage the battle for them, then we can be sure that the enemy holds the upper hand against them. And when it comes to the enemy and his intention, there is never an occasion when he is for us. His agenda always roots to the contrary. Of that, I am certain.

Thus, let us strengthen our frames and steady our feet for the sake of our homes. Never apologize to anyone regarding your personal pursuit of purity and the steps that you are taking on behalf of your loved ones to know the same. Don’t be afraid. Don’t back down. Don’t settle for the easy way out. There is no easy way when it comes to purity of heart and life. Thankfully, we don’t go it alone. The Lord is great and awesome and will fight alongside us to bring us to our final and perfect end.

It seems a long season to get there, but it is but a breath from now, and our God is worth every hard and difficult intention that we walk in our “current” for his name’s sake.

Keep to it, friends. See to it. Our salvation draweth nigh.

In the name of the God who created us for a kingdom, and of the Jesus who died for us so that we could share in that kingdom, and of the Holy Spirit who keeps us to the road until we reach that kingdom, may all glory and honor and praise be His, now and forever more. Amen. So be it.

As always,

~elaine

Copyright © March 2009 – Elaine Olsen

UPDATE: I can see that this post has opened up yet another issue as it pertains to purity…pornography. It has touched our household in many ways over the years. I know that many of you are trying to raise up your children with the truth of all things pertaining to purity and sensuality. Thus, let’s offer one another some practical resources for walking this thing through. What has worked for you? I will try and compile some of these things for a further post, but I need your input. Write it in the comment section or send me an e-mail. Let’s help one another here. As a mother of 3 sons and a daughter, I don’t have the market on wisdom here, but I have the passion to see all of us succeed at our responsibility of “training up a child.” Let us NOT FEAR; let us armor up for the fight! Our knees are the best posture for the road ahead.

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