Peace for the Journey | Elaine Olsen

Waiting

June 3, 2009

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” (Psalm 27:12-14).

Today has been a day of routine waiting. From the moment my feet hit the floor, it’s been full speed ahead, pushing the various duties of my life through the motions and then some more. It’s not been bad … just full.

In the midst of my commotion, God gave me a couple of moments. Moments I would have missed had I not been waiting. As I consider them now, they seem a better trade for the stress of my waiting.

First, I met Jenny and her infant daughter, Lily Ann. Like me, they were waiting in the office of a local oral surgeon. I was waiting for a consult with the doctor; they were waiting for “husband and dad” to emerge from his wisdom teeth surgery. After perusing magazines for over an hour, I finally put down the “Good Housekeeping” and made my way over to the couch where they were sitting.

Lily Ann was a delight. At six months old, she coos and smiles at the top her game. I couldn’t escape her drool or big blue eyes. Her mother, Jenny, was quite eager for me to engage with her beautiful daughter. At just twenty years of age, Jenny could have easily been my daughter. We talked and laughed and shared a couch for a good thirty minutes before her being called to pick up her husband at the side door of the building.

Prior to her departure, I told her about our church; she told me that since moving to the area five months ago (they are a military family from Athens, GA), she and her husband have been “looking” for a church. She grew up Baptist; I grew up Methodist, and when she asked me if we were close to being the “same,” I assured her that we were—that, in fact, God doesn’t look at our denominations. God looks at our hearts. I passed her my card, and we parted as friends.

One moment I would have missed had I not been waiting.

Moment two came on the floor of a local resale shop. My son was trying on clothes for his upcoming trip to Bolivia. I was contemplating my tired when a woman emerged from the double doors at the back of the shop. She made her way over to me and asked for my opinion about the two objects she held in her hands.

One was a polka-dotted cookie jar; one was an ornate flower vase, blue with gold etching. With some hesitancy, she stated her request…

“Which one do you think will hold more sand?”

“Excuse me, sand? What are using this for?”

“Well, my brother died yesterday; we’re having him cremated and will be taking him to the river to scatter his ashes. Which one do you think might work better?”

“Tell me what you think and then tell me something about your brother.”

And with that, the floodgates opened as Geneva spent the next fifteen minutes describing to me the events of the previous twenty-four hours. Bill died in his wheelchair while talking with a friend at his assisted living facility. Dead at the age of sixty-two without warning, leaving behind at least one grieving sister who was in search of his “casket” in a resale shop.

I hugged Geneva, told her I would be praying for her throughout the day and then encouraged her to leave the cookie jar and vase behind and head to “Michael’s” for her purchase. If I could, I would have gone with her, but this was not my journey to make. This was simply a divine moment given to me in order to “enter into” someone else’s pain.

One moment I would have missed had I not been waiting.

Jenny, her daughter Lily Ann, and Geneva. Three of God’s precious children waiting for me on the road of life today. I am not surprised by their arrival to my world; instead, I am profoundly thankful for the sacred intersection that allowed me a few moments of connection between my heart and theirs. What a privilege and blessing it was to be able to seed some comfort and love on behalf of the kingdom. God will do with it what he will; I am content to leave the outcome in his best-intentioned hands.

Moments. Split fragments of time that call for our notice and our willingness to engage with the heart of God’s people. We may not see them coming, but when they arrive, may we all have the good sense and the kingdom perspective to call them worthy of our attention and intervention.

Perhaps this day, you’ve known a “wait.” If not, I’m fairly confident that one is on your way. What you do with that “wait” is up to you. As for me, I’d rather spend it on behalf of a people who need to know the lavish love of my exceedingly good God. And while I don’t relish a long lingering in the doctor’s office or an unscheduled stop at the resale shop, I pause today to consider what I would have missed by not receiving their requirement.

I think this day better lived because of them; I think my heart all the more.

Live your moments like you mean them, friends. Make them count for something more than what they seem. As always,

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Adding Zest to the Nest

June 1, 2009

Thank you all for your kind and gracious words of encouragement to me regarding my last post. I’m still in hibernation mode but wanted to take a moment to ask you a frank and bold question (one that I never imagined I would ask on this blog):

How goes it in the bedroom with your spouse? Could you use a little zest in your nest?

I know. Bold and to the point. I don’t intend on offering you any pointers in this regard, but I know a woman who can. Her name is Heidi, aka “stonefox” to most of us. A few months ago, Heidi began to explore the topic of sexual satisfaction in a Christ-centered marriage. That exploration is being developed into a new series to be offered on her blog beginning in June. The title of the series is “under the covers.” You can read more about it by clicking on these links to the following posts:

The Sexual Woman (part one)

The Sex Doctor (part two)

In addition, Heidi and her friend Patty are beginning a blog devoted entirely to this issue, offering Godly advice and answers to our questions. You can visit their new site, Adding Zest to your Nest, by clicking here.

I’ve encouraged Heidi to nurture the growth of this teaching. She’s been a good friend to me, even though an ocean or two separates our worlds. She is wise beyond her years … the kind of wisdom that cannot be learned but only received as a gift from the Giver of infinite wisdom. In addition, she has a rich heart for the ministering of the Gospel in a culture that is often void of desire and understanding.

I encourage you to be a part of this growing teaching. I need it more than anyone, and I’m just bold enough and perhaps just on the other side of crazy enough, to commit my energy and my heart to growing in this area of my marriage.

I certainly need more zest. I’m sure that my husband would agree.

Blessings to you all this week. I love you like crazy and am praying for each one of you as God brings you to mind. As always,

On Empty…

May 29, 2009

I see Christ’s face before me tonight. There is a deep need in me to do so. My world is spinning fast, and my commitments are firm in their insistence. I haven’t slept well for days, and my nerves harbor on the edge of collapse.

I am tired, friends. The kind of tired that searches for answers but can never seem to take hold of the right one. I imagine you understand. Who of us hasn’t lived through a tired season or two in recent days?

Still and yet, there is no retirement for me as a mother, a wife, a friend, a follower of Jesus Christ. I don’t get to quit because my feelings tell me to do so. I get the privilege of “walking it through.” Yes, privilege. To see my life’s work as otherwise—to value it less than what God intends—is to till the seeds of discontent. And when tilling those seeds becomes more important than accepting my privileged participation as a member of the human race, then sure disaster lies on the horizon.

Thus, the rub. How do I balance exhaustion and privilege? Where is the dividing line between what I am called to do and what I feel that I can no longer do? When does taking care of my need become more important than taking care of the needs of others?

This is the current struggle of my heart. I could keep it to myself … bury it in hopes of being able to ride this wave a bit longer, but what does it profit me to stuff my angst? I’ve never been able to reason that as helpful. Rather, I believe that confession is very good for the soul. In choosing to do so, I believe that there is someone else … perhaps even you … who needs the witness of my admission.

My weakness to strengthen you. Yours to strengthen me. This doesn’t make for an easy understanding; it simply and profoundly “is” what the body of Christ does.

We depend.
We befriend.
We bend.
We lend.
We tend.
We mend.
We comprehend…

so that in the end, the body grows stronger. Walks better. Shines brighter and lives purer.

For all of the struggle that feeds my flesh this night, I willingly embrace the high and holy privilege of being yoked alongside of you. I’m part of something bigger than what exists inside of me. My life is not lived in isolation, even when I reason solitude to be the better option.

Sometimes, it is the better option. Sometimes not. Wisdom comes from knowing the difference between the two. Tonight, wisdom tells me that my exhaustion mandates a much needed pause—at least until I get a good night’s sleep and a heavy dose of doing “little to nothing” for a few days.

Come Monday, summer kicks into full swing over here. I haven’t yet decided how I feel about all of that (although I have an inclination or two). I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, thanks for your understanding. I covet your prayers and need your friendship now more than ever before.

You are some of best parts of my day. God did me an incredible favor when he decided to intersect my life with yours. Words fail to adequately express my deep love and fondest affection for all of you who make my walk a richer pilgrimage. Keep to the road friends. Keep to Jesus, and I’ll see you on the other side of some rest. As always,

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Ruby Tuesdays: a Mighty Woman (part eight)

May 26, 2009

“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.” (Proverbs 31:16).

To be honest with you (and what profit would there be to be otherwise?), I don’t think I have it in me tonight to write much of anything, especially worthy words pertaining to the P31 woman. Today has not been filled with many self-titled shining moments. Today has been a “get through” kind of day. You know the type … when just “getting through” feels like a huge accomplishment all on its own.

I’m almost there … almost through and ready to put the punctuation on this day of frolicking chaos. But before saying goodnight, I wanted to take a moment and give our “mighty woman” a final look to see if she might have anything to say to me before sleep has her say over me. And without warning, wouldn’t you know it … she does—have something to say.

Thus, taking her cue, I’m going to follow in her footsteps and try to implement one of her defining characteristics. I’m going to consider this field. I’m going to take possession of it, and out of the overflow of my heart, I’m going to plant a vineyard. Hold on; I think the planting (via a word study) to be worthy of the fruit in the end.

Consider. The Hebrew word zamam meaning “… to consider, to purpose, to devise. This verb derives its meaning from the idea of talking to oneself in a low voice, as if arriving at some conclusion. It denotes the action of fixing thought on an object so as to acquire it.”[i]

Field. The Hebrew word saday meaning “ … a field, oftentimes defined more descriptively as an open field. The noun is used to describe pastureland in which flocks of sheep were fed. The word is also used to describe a field or a plot of land that was normally unfrequented and in which one could meditate without being disturbed.”[ii]

Earnings. The Hebrew word periy meaning “fruit, produce.”[iii]

Buys. The Hebrew word laqach meaning “to take, get, fetch, lay hold of, seize, receive, acquire, buy, bring.”[iv]

Plants. The Hebrew word nata meaning “to plant, fasten, fix, to establish.”[v]

Vineyard. The Hebrew word kerem meaning “…a vineyard, an area where grapevines and their fruits are grown and cultivated intensely.”[vi]

A mighty woman, a woman worthy of a ruby’s bestowing, is a woman who houses an unseen hope and a “yet to be realized” possibility in her heart. She doesn’t just let an open field pass her by. Instead, she considers it. Talks to herself about it; fixes her thoughts on it, until she can almost taste the fruit of its vines as it passes from her lips into her soul, filling her needful longing.

Out of the overflow of that longing, she moves heaven and earth to lay hold of it and to subsequently fasten her dreams within its soil in order to cultivate its promise with all the intensity and expectancy of a pregnant woman waiting for the fruition of a nine-month laboring.

A mighty woman sees the end, even before its beginning. She cannot accurately determine the unseen bounty of the harvest, but she senses that it’s going to be good. That it’s going to be more than it was at the outset, and, most importantly, that it was hers to seed and to grow regardless of the yield.

Each and every day, friends, God presents us with an array of open fields. Untouched and undisturbed pastureland is waiting to be tilled by the possibilities and visions that we hold dear within our hearts. Your field may present itself differently than mine. God tailor paints a blank canvas according to individual preferences, needs, and giftedness. The field which you consider purposeful and ripe for the planting is meant to stir your obedience toward the relentless pursuit of purchasing, planting, and cultivating it through deliberate intention.

We cannot all harvest the same pastureland. What benefit is there in following behind and stepping over one another’s work when there is still so much open ground available for the taking? Today, perhaps even in this moment, God is presenting your heart with an unfrequented parcel of land in need of your attention. The desire to fasten yourself to its cultivating pulses within your veins until you can almost taste the fruit of your hard laboring.

What are you waiting for? What keeps you from taking that ground and walking its breadth and tilling its soil and cultivating its growth? Are you scared? Are you tired? Are you complacent? Are you lazy? Are you afraid that when you arrive on the other side of harvest time it won’t look like much … won’t harvest as amply as you intended on the front side of a dream?

I suppose you could choose to do nothing–to keep your earnings to yourself and to hold out for a time that seems to house more promise as to the outcome. But whoever sows sparingly, reaps the same (2 Corinthian 9:6), and sameness is not what God is after in the life of his children. He created us for his kingdom and for the pilgrimage of a great and consecrated commission that leads others to walk the same.

Thus, consider the field before you this day. For me, it’s been this empty computer screen, awaiting my words and hoping for an end product that yields something more than what it was at the beginning—a blank page. What it was an hour ago, was less than what it is now. What it’s worth? Well, I don’t hold that determination. God does, and in some smaller measure, you do as well.

This is my heart’s offering to you. I considered its availability. Out of the overflow of my heart, I took hold of it, fastened my intention toward its cultivation, and now I leave it in your lap for your contemplation. I pray it fruitful toward God’s higher purposes, including the purpose that he intends for you to walk this week. Thus, I pray…

Thank you, Father, for a night’s prodding that leads me to consider your timeless teachings and effectual words. Your Word is true and is everything that I need to live a godly and consecrated life. Give me the willing heart to receive your invitation to open fields this week. Give me discernment to know which ones you intend for my hands and which ones are better left to someone else’s. Sustain my heart for the harvest, even when the outcome seems unlikely and “less” than what I envisioned. Keep me faithful to the cultivation Lord; keep me faithful through to the end. Let the sowing of your grace within my heart be the storehouse from which I sow my offering for your kingdom come. Amen.

[i] Baker & Carpenter, entry for “zaman,” The Complete Word Study Dictionary OT (Chattanooga: AMG Publishers, 2003), 294.
[ii] Baker & Carpenter, entry for “saday,” The Complete Word Study Dictionary OT (Chattanooga: AMG Publishers, 2003), 1104-1105.
[iii] http://studylight.org/desk/?l=en&query=Proverbs+31%3A16&section=0&translation=nsn&oq=&sr=1
[iv] http://studylight.org/desk/?l=en&query=Proverbs+31%3A16&section=0&translation=nsn&oq=&sr=1
[v] http://studylight.org/desk/?l=en&query=Proverbs+31%3A16&section=0&translation=nsn&oq=&sr=1
[vi] Baker & Carpenter, entry for “kerem,” The Complete Word Study Dictionary OT (Chattanooga: AMG Publishers, 2003), 3754-3755.

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Please join us over at Refreshmoments for more Ruby Tuesdays’ posts. Also, if you would like to read my previous Ruby Tuesdays’ post, you can do so by clicking HERE. Shalom.

A Good Day

May 24, 2009

Good days.

I don’t know if we get a quota on them—like one good day a week … a month … a year … until we reach the max, and then we’re done. I know that there have been seasons in my life that seemed to portion out like that. Times when no matter how I turned things, wished for things, and even prayed for things, good remained hidden.

But not today. Today was a good day any way you turned it. In fact, this week has spent in good measure. Full and rich and close to perfect. Yes, there have been moments of chaos and times when my mind wandered beyond the boundaries of certainties. Tears have found their home upon my cheeks, and a pain or two has whispered its insistence into my heart.

But as I stand this night on the threshold of a seventh-day pause, I do so with a backward glance that yields a satisfactory nod to a week well-lived and to a God who isn’t capable of authoring otherwise. We sometimes think that he does … author otherwise. When pain, hardship, heartache and questions are our requirement, it’s difficult to reason the good of God.

I understand. Life has afforded me a few occasions for arriving at that conclusion. But life and the pursuit of all things sacred have also afforded me something else.

A growing understanding and knowledge of God.

For every comprehension that eludes me, for every question that surfaces in my heart to challenge the integrity and goodness of the God whom I call Father, there is an overriding and overwhelming anchor that pushes my thoughts through to the other side of my confusion.

Faith and the certainty of all things therein.

That is where my conclusion lies. In the unseen and unimaginable wealth of a God who is willing to sustain my breath a day longer in hopes that I will arrive at a declaration concerning his incomparable goodness. Regardless of the mitigating factors that collect and gather to beg my thoughts in another direction, God is after my acknowledging him for his goodness.

Some days, like today, it’s an easy reach … an easy write … an easy prayer of thanks. Some days, not so much. Perhaps for many of you, there’s been nothing easy about this day. I’ve heard from a few of you. I want you to know that I walk with you. I covenant with you in prayer for some easy and some identifiable good to work its way onto the scene of your life. But just because we don’t always see God’s good doesn’t mean that it has been diminished because of our difficult.

This faulty theology cannot stand up to the truth of who our Father IS. We can spend a lifetime blaming him, labeling him, squeezing him into a box that “fits” our need to have everything make sense, but at the end of the day … at the end of this life … no seemingly justifiable scrutiny on our part will keep God from being good. He simply and profoundly cannot help himself.

Good is what God IS. Good is what God does. God’s good is what woke you up this morning. God’s good is what will safely see you through another night’s rest. God’s good cannot be fully explained nor can it be completely measured. Still and yet, we get the privilege of trying. And for me, today, it was an easy find.

Today was about as good as I imagine an earthly good to be. Tomorrow holds a good all its own. When I get there, I pray for the willing eyes to vision its unfolding and the expectant heart to receive it all the more. I earnestly and sincerely desire the same for you. Would that we all could get to the end our week with the overriding and truthful conclusion that our God is good and worthy of all our praise.

Sing him well in your Sabbath tomorrow. From my pew, I’ll be listening for your voice alongside mine.

So shall he. So shall he.

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