a fleeting resemblance

“Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath.” (Psalm 39:4-5).

Two boys at eight-years-old.

Two boys separated by twelve years.

Two boys with different fathers.

Two boys who are never pegged as look-alikes , still and yet two boys who share some obvious similarities:

adorable eyes;
kind hearts;
big dreams;
ice-cream appetites;
and a mutual love for the one thing they’ll always have in common.

Their momma. The one who loves them back and then some more and wishes she could fold them up and keep them in her pocket for a long season to come.

Where has the time gone? I know we all say it; I’m pretty sure I’ve heard at least once or twice in the course of conversations within the last few days. Time slips through our hands like water. Perhaps not always in the moment; sometimes moments spend long and laborious. But then they gather and collect and before long, we’re left holding our memories and wondering why we didn’t cherish them better while we lived them.

Sometimes it hurts to look back because it reminds us of just how fleeting a life-span lives.

Children are most often our benchmarks for the passage of time. They can’t help but grow and change and move into adulthood. Those of us who are older? Well, it seems we stay “stuck” in our growth as we age. Yes, the internal shaping is ever at work, and while we may gray a bit, get rounder and more wrinkled with our collection of days, the measurable change of our next ten years doesn’t wear as obviously as that of children.

Their changes come swift and fast and full of the blossoms that belong to their becoming. Ours seem less pronounced. Instead, we are given some “down time” so as to better observe the exponential growth of a younger generation and to contemplate the meaning behind it all. If we can get past the “pain” of the pondering, we can glean some understanding that will help us better live our “now”. Understanding that simply says…

Live life like you mean it.

On purpose and with the intention of sowing some good seed into a good soil that will glean as a good harvest somewhere down the road.

I’ve been sowing those seeds in the lives of my children for twenty years now. I haven’t always planted them with purpose; most of the time, my seeds scatter through accidental measure and with little thought of the blossoms to come. But every now and again, a reminder arrives, showing me that all has not been sown in vain. A moment like today, when a younger child recalls the earlier season of an older sibling and shows me just how “alike” they look … how much they share in common. And that, just maybe, in twelve years’ time, my Jadon will grow into a man like my Nick.

Despite the twelve years that separate their ages, despite the time that has flown by rather than crawled, there is a familiar seed that anchors them to the soil of my heart and home. They are my look-alike sons. The two of them, along with the two others, will be, perhaps, the greatest living witnesses as to how I’ve invested my time on this earth … fleeting and otherwise.

I’ve been wrapped up in a great many things for the past several weeks, splitting my time amongst preferences and responsibilities. All the while, my children are milling about in my presence, rarely garnering my notice. It isn’t fair to them; it isn’t fair to me. I’m robbing myself of some moments, and rather than flog myself with regrets, I’m going to slow down a bit and capture some memories in the bottle that I carry around in my pocket.

I imagine I will need them in the days to come. A season when pulling out a remembrance or two will bring me a much needed smile and generous lift to my wearied heart. I cannot forecast the need in the immediate, but when it arises down the road, I’ll be grateful for the time I’ve invested along those lines.

These are memory-making days, friends. Even if you don’t have some look-alikes to make them with, I’ll wager the fact that there is someone God has placed in your path who could use some of your intention, sown on his/her behalf. Let’s spend tonight and tomorrow and the next day doing so—sowing seeds with intention and living life like we mean it.

Thank you for being my friends. The seeds of love you have sown into my life have given me a generous portion of remembrance for the road ahead. What a privilege it is to walk it with you.

As always,

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29 Responses to a fleeting resemblance

  1. Love the two photos of your sons and the beautiful message you shared.

    It's RICH and full.

    Love you my dear sister.

  2. Elaine, Thanks so much for your thoughts and advice on my post today! I appreciate it so much! You have an 18 year old and a 20 year old and an 8 year old? all boys? Jadon is your 8 year old and Nick is 20? I am getting this figured out, I think! I totally agree with the communication thing and not being able to parent too much. They need us to sow seeds into their life intentionally as the Lord leads us to and live our lives like we mean every single minute of it. It all goes so fast and will be gone in a moment's notice if we don't capture it and enjoy it!
    Thanks again for commenting and sharing,
    Christy

  3. Oh wow–you touched my heart with this one. Your boys do look so much alike!
    But yes, our children are our benchmarks and that is good and sad at the same time.
    I'm trying hard now to find that person or persons who I need to be intent about. Especially now that my daughter is so far away.Not always an easy task but working on it.

  4. Ok–I've just left one post that had me sobbing! Now, I'm here and doing it again! Bless your precious heart! I did a double take on their pics–amazing!! You are in my prayers, oh sweet friend! Play with them all today! Take them to Ollies and then to lunch and to the pool!!
    Love you!
    Susan

  5. Greetings Mrs. Elaine:)

    That is almost unreal how close the boys look like each other at that age! There age difference reminds me of my sisters and the age differences we have: 28, 26, 20, 19, and 13. Deanna, there at the end, was a surprise, surprise!:) I want to be a good wife and momma too:)

    Blessings to you, Mrs. Elaine:)

    katiegfromtennessee

  6. SO much wisdom sown throughout this whole post. Thank you for such a great reminder.
    Love how you "break it down" for us.
    love,
    Lelia

  7. Precious pictures Elaine! They look so much alike.

    You always give such good advice. I'm with you…capture every moment. Time does go by so fast. Enjoy your day!

  8. I love making memories… the good and the difficult. My life is dotted with both.

    Time does fly by… how did I end up almost 44 years old? I should be the age of those boys in those pictures! 😉

    I cherish my "down time" when I can relax and enjoy what's going on around me. Living life not just racing through life. Whenever I say or hear "I can't wait until it's Friday" I pause and think to myself… why am I wishing this life away? God has given me the gift of this earthly life… stop wishing it away and yes, "live life like I mean it"

    Yes friend, these are memory making days… I hope you make baskets and baskets of memories!

    Love,
    K

  9. Friend, your words are God's reminder to me to pause and enjoy my boys today.

    Your guys are beautiful…and I happen to think a lot of their mamma!

    Blessings today.

  10. Elaine, thanks for the reminder to sow seeds with purpose… the seeds take better root then… don't they? And the fruit is more accessible.

    I'm hoping you can catch a couple lazy days of summer!

  11. This is precious. Thank you for sharing them with us and for the reminder that you never know when you are making a memory…good or bad. It makes us want to cherish the time we have with our sweet babies…
    Blessings to you today,
    Amy

  12. You know my heart on this matter, friend! I have my own bottle with memories which I will carry, too.

    I have been torn this summer, mainly because I have two boys with full-time summer jobs, and little time to spend together. The time we have been together has involved shopping for college necessities, doctor/dentist appointments, college orientation, placement testing, and tons of paperwork! Our summer has literally flown by, with little time to spend together. I think that's really sad.

    Great pictures of your boys…I can't get over how much Jadon and Nick resemble each other!

  13. Wow! I was looking for confirmation this morning for a recent decision I made regarding taking a second job. Your post helped with that.

    I had decided NOT to take it because it would have caused me to be away from home pretty much all day long and on the weekends. I decided that my time with my kids is way too short to be away that much. God has provided for our family throughout the years and I know that He will continue to do so. I feel satisfied with my decision knowing that God will reward my desire to keep my kids foremost right now. There will be time to work, but I think my kids need me now.

    It is funny how quickly they grow up, and at the time we can't wait for them to grow up. My mom told me to enjoy them when they were little!!!

    Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy those kiddos of yours!!

    Love my friend,

    Lori

  14. And it's a privilege to walk with ou as well, Elaine.

    Enjoy your weekend!

  15. Ohhh did I need this this today (as my daughter sits beside me whining). Bless you!

  16. wifeforthejourney:

    Though we have all lived under the same roof all this time I am still amazed at the likeness that shows through in Nick and Jadon. Although they are seperated by a great many things, each of our children also share the common quality of having you as their mother. Considering they are such a good looking bunch that says a LOT about you!

    You have made your mark on the futures of Nick (20), Colton (18), Jadon (8 1/2) and Amelia (almost 7). I will be forever greatful to God for the common thread that runs through our tribe. My prayer today is that I will always value each one of you for who God has made you to be!

    Love,
    Billy

  17. They really do look remarkably alike! Wow!

    It seems like SUCH a long time since my kids were at home! I had three in three years so they were all small at the same time but then all grew up at the same time too. Seems like I was so busy while they were here that I didn't really have time to enjoy them!

    I want to do what you said…."Live live like you mean it!" I'm not too good at that yet. I stumble and falter and fear to step out and really LIVE!

    I feel so honored to be sharing a path of my life with you.

    God bless!

    Marilyn

  18. Elaine, I am so in agreement on the slowing down to treasure. Right now, I need to slow down to INVEST. These little ones need me. The world outside does not, but these right here, who look in my face with their lives stretched before them…well, they truly do need me. And I've been given to them (like it or not somedays!)

    I'm standing with you on slowing down to be a momma.

  19. Your words are so fitting for me today, dear friend. I just left my son and his sweet little ones in Missouri.

    It was a memorable week. All good. Everything was just right.

    Now, I am home this evening, nursing a crack in my heart.

    It's so joyful to arrive but painful to depart. To leave them all behind.

    To enter into a quiet house with thougts of days when my home was full of little league, baseball cards, trumpets, piano playing, singing, school projects, brothers fighting, etc.

    Thank you for your beautiful, wise words. Do take advantage of your time with your family, for it is fleeting.

    And part of life it is. We all have to share the empty nest stage. Just when I think I am finally over it, I seem to be living it again.

    But I believe that is part of the price of love.

    Sorry for rattling on and on. My life has been incredibly hectic for the past two weeks, and I am such a mixture of emotions right now.

    Fillled with much thankfulness for the health of my husband, along with teary eyes for those I will not see for months.

    Tomorrow I will see my son and two granddaughters who live near. Looking forward. To a new day. And the ordered times of my life from He who has written all in His book of remembrance.

    Take care, dear friend.

    Much Love In Jesus,

    Andrea

  20. Elaine, this was a great post. What a powerful reminder to live intentionally especially with those closest to us. What a wonderful picture you painted of carrying memories around in your pocket. Our children are our benchmarks that God has given us, a gentle reminder not to waste the time we have with them. I love reading your post – I am always uplifted and challenged when I come here!

    With gospel Affection,
    Lori

  21. Making memories.

    Taking the time to share their struggles.

    Their everydays.

    Their victories.

    They are the most important story that we'll ever write.

  22. Gracious & wise words, my friend. I'm all over that intentional living stuff, especially the savoring part. Life DOES fly by, and the older we get the faster the flying!

    Needless to say, I relish all manner of opportunities to stop, look, whiff and abide. Besides, my soul needs it.

    Hugs and much love,
    Kathleen

  23. Thanks for the reminder…and the wisdom that you shared. For a mom with a 2 year old, I need to be reminded every once in a while of how important and seasonal this job is. 🙂

  24. Oh yeah, that resonates.

    Indeed, these are memory-making days. I can get so caught up in my housework, my blogging, my church duties, my laundry, my … , my …, my …

    My, my, my.

    I've got a mind to go play with my children, now, Elaine.

    Blessings to you!

  25. Elaine~ The Lord speaks into my heart through every post you write. I'm so glad He brought me to your blog.

    With love and appreciation for you, my sister in Jesus…
    Jennifer

  26. Oh- the joy of planting the fruit of our womb!

    What a special lesson after God just showed me something incredible while I was praying in Shepherd's Walk today.

    It was all about planting the seeds of our womb into His kingdom purposes [even when we're not even aware of what we are doing].

    Great visual for me!

    Choosing GREAT JOY,
    Stephanie
    [JESUS – the One I THIRST For]

  27. Sweet, sweet Elaine, I've missed you dear one and stopping by here tonight was like a cool summer breeze. The Scripture was one my mother had marked in her Bible when she received her diagnosis of leukemia in the final stages. She has been on my mind this anniversary weekend of her death. I'm so thankful to the Lord I came by for a visit today.

    Run with reckless abandon toward the God who made you and your dear children and make the most of every possible minute the Lord grants you. Your post encourages my heart as I've followed a different schedule for blogging this summer than I had planned. The Lord has called me to my family first and your post has blessed my heart.

    With love and thanksgiving to the Lord for you,
    Lora

  28. Eric and Elliot share different father's yet are carbon copies at each stage and age. They even share that same calming disposition. It's so strange and Elliot sees himself in Eric each time he is home for a visit.

    Taking time to capture the memories of day to day is a blessing when days past and we can reflect, without regrets that we did indeed invest in the laughter of a silly joke, the run on sentances of a five year old who can not collect his thoughts and the adorable pokes in the side to get my attention when I am reading…don't miss it for even a moment. Like you said, time has passed quickly as my oldest had replaced homelife for a life on his own. It's amazing to have lived out the fullness of this season and have look a likes to come along, to get to do it all over again. Great post Elaine.

  29. Hello my friend. Oh, this touched my heart. I've said it before but it bears repeating…one of the things I find dearest in my husband has always been his ability to savor sweet (and fleeting) moments with our boy. I've learned much from his example over the years. I praise God for the blessing of a husband who urged me to let dirty dishes sit in favor of lingering over a bedtime story or bathtime conversation with our boy. To abandon the everyday mundane in exchange for the fleeting extraordinary.

    Now, with only a few weeks before his return to college and less than three months before he becomes a husband, there is much joy in those "tucked away" times.

    The glimpses I've seen into your heart give little wonder why your children love their Momma so. What a beautiful family you and your dear hubby have built, and what a sweet, abundant bouquet you will have when these days are past.

    I thank the Lord for your example…

    Love,
    Tracy

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