family fun | Elaine Olsen

Ruby Tuesdays: A Mighty Woman (part three)

March 31, 2009

Please join us over at Refreshmoments to read more Ruby Tuesdays’ posts. To read part one and two of my series, click here.

“She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night.” (Proverbs 31:18, NAS).
My lamp wants to.

Go out tonight.

But my heart refuses its dimming. Not because I don’t need it to; I need some rest. But rather because I have a stirring that forces my thoughts. A penned up feeling that has surfaced today; the first of its kind, at least as it pertains to this child. My second child. A boy who’s grown up too quickly and who, in two months time, will throw his cap into the air and declare his finish to his childhood.

I’ve been waiting for this feeling to surface all year, but for whatever reason, it waited until today to erupt. I was unprepared for its arrival and yet completely willing to entreat its sway over my mind and my emotion.

Butterflies.

Flutters of worry. Flutters of anxiety. Flutters of anticipation. Flutters of exultation. Flutters of “what’s next” and flutters about “how I’m going to walk this one through.” Flutters of all manner of feelings, rolled up into a few moments of pause.

It brought me to my knees and my tears accordingly. To my prayers and my hopes for how this thing … this future that remains to be seen … is going to shift my season, yet again. Two years ago, I walked this road with my first son. It was different then. Harder in many ways. Time has developed my trust for the process, especially because that time has been seasoned with good decisions and good provision that have grown us all in very good measure.

My gain has been very good. All those years of seeding the soil of my eldest son’s maturation have blossomed into a budding harvest of manhood. I imagine the same for my second son. I hope for it; I pray for it; I long for it to walk in similar and smooth transition.

It seems that it will, at least for today. Today, despite my flutters, the future seems to be narrowing—to be falling into sharper focus as to where my son will further his growing over the next four years. Four of the five colleges to which he’s applied have laid some ample offers at his feet. Good offers. Financial packages that we couldn’t have imagined for him on the front side of this process.

On the front side, we couldn’t see a way. With an older brother already in college and with us living within the budget of our single-family income, we couldn’t imagine how we would be able to afford him the education at the school of his choice. So I didn’t.

Imagine.

On the front side.

Instead, I simply left it in God’s hands.

Good hands. Hands that are completely capable and willing to hold the trust and faith of our hearts.

And now, on the backside of a strenuous and lengthy stretch, it seems that we will be able to afford them all. And the mighty woman in me, a woman longing to be found worthy of a ruby’s bestowing, is sensing a very good gain through the hands of a very good Father who understands the needs of his children and of his provision therein.

God has moved on behalf of our household, friends. And when I discerned it today, when I began to see the prayers of my long and deliberate trust beginning to unfold in our favor, all I could do was fall prey to my fluttering. From one emotion to the next until I found my knees and my subsequent thanks.

God gave me more than an answer today. He gave me the gift of faith … of seeing how my believing Him on the “front side” of an unknown can be walked in peace and assurance until the answer arrives.

Rarely have I done that. Rarely have I fully trusted Him with my prayers. Rarely have I believed that He was truly and faithfully going to work it all out. But this time—this season of trusting God with my son’s college outcome—was my rare exception. This time, I chose expectation over doubt. Faith over fear. Peace over panic. And tonight, from the backside, it seems to me to be a very good way to walk a journey.

In full assurance of a good gain because a good God stands at the helm.

Long ago and many seasons before this one, God lit his lamp within my heart. I’ve spent the better part of forty years tending to that wick. Some years have walked brightly. Some dim. Some pure. Some tainted. But all have walked with the possibility of a brilliantly lit faith. Today, my faith burned with a radiance that surpassed them all.

Today, faith grew, and tonight, God’s wick within me is flaming with a peace that has rarely been my portion. God has stoked my heart with a night’s burning that will remain, despite this body’s need for rest.

I can take that rest because my Father is faithful to tend to my all in my stead, on the front side of tomorrow … on the backside of today. My times are in his hands. So are yours. And that, my friends, is a good gain all the way around. As always,

~elaine

Bench Time

February 22, 2009

We’re not going to win a single game this season. I don’t have to imagine otherwise. It’s just one of those years. The forecast came about mid-way through our first game. After fifteen years of doing this “thing” called rec sports, youth sports, middle school and high school sports, I can tell early on how things are going to pan out. I’ve logged enough time on the bleachers and driven enough miles to warrant my badge of expertise.

Thus, very little enthusiasm accompanied me yesterday morning as I traveled to my youngest son’s basketball game. Per usual, I had very low expectations going in, but by the time the game was finished, I exited with something quite different. Something more than my usual thankfulness for the final buzzer.

I left with some perspective.

Watching my older two sons play basketball over the years has been a delight for me. Partly because my younger years provided me with more energy for the “doing,” but mostly because of their strong determination and agility for playing the game. I never had to wonder if I was going to get a “show” from my boys. They’ve excelled at life, both on and off the court. They understand the game and have the tenacious drive to ramp up the scoreboard. Whenever they lace up their shoes, you can be sure that they are playing to win.

I don’t see that drive in my younger son. And while he loves playing the game, he’s less concerned about his stats and more interested in simply playing his position on the court … in cheering for his teammates and in his “thumbs up” accordingly. Jadon’s instincts for the game are different than his bigger brothers, and just yesterday, while watching my son as he stood fastened to his spot, I had a thought.

A question or two for myself, especially as it pertains to my personality and my instincts for playing this game called life.

Am I more interested in my stats—in my taking the charge toward raising the score? Or, am I content in my role as a team player … a thumb’s upper … an attaboy and attagirl cheerer? Do I see myself as a lone ranger in the game or as an integral part of a process that calls for my participation rather than my sole determination? Where is my comfortable fit?

For those of you who know me, you don’t have to linger very long with that question. My instincts for the game fall in line with those of my older sons. I have a tenacious and persistent resolve for driving up the scoreboard. I feel the tremendous need to walk a victory at every turn, and quite honestly, am often disappointed if I’m not part of the reason behind the win. If it’s going to be, I’ve got this idea that it’s always going to be up to me.

And while I am confident that God appreciates my willingness to dig in and drive hard to the basket for a score, yesterday He gave me the gift of a contrasting option. An option that allows for “passing the ball” on occasion rather than feeling the need to carry the load of the victory in selfish isolation.

Some days are meant for my full throttle run up and down the length of the court. Some days are meant for my obligatory thumbs up to my teammates as I park it on the bench and watch them raise the score. All days lend themselves to my participation, but not all of them need my frontline stats to bring a victory home for the team.

True in theory; more difficult to live in the everyday. But I need to … live it, even as I preach it.

Not all occasions call for my leadership and my perfection therein. I’ve spent a lifetime pursuing that option, and quite frankly, it’s exhausting some days. And while I always want to put my best foot forward, both in life and in spirit, I think, perhaps, that God is deepening my outlook in the matter.

Today, He’s asking of me a hard question, the answer of which speaks the truth about how I am choosing to “play” this life that I’ve been given. Simply put…

Do you trust me with your bench time, elaine?

Deeper still…

Are you willing to go there, elaine, … to step aside and offer up your support while your teammates have their go at running up the scoreboard?

Further still…

Is it enough, elaine, to simply be on the team or do you prefer to single handedly be the team?

Good questions; a painful wrestling and just exactly the pondering that I was left with as I watched my son leave the court at the conclusion of his game, no worse for the wear and completely at peace about his level of participation in the matter.

Could it be that after 42 years of doing life, the time has finally come for a shift in my thinking about my participation in the matter? Could it be that after over fifteen years of watching my children play sports, I’ve finally come across a child who more fully understands the art of team play and who is willing to log bench time as well as court time because he knows that all of his time belongs to a plan intended to bring about a good and final conclusion?

Yesterday’s conclusion may not have been the conclusion that I wanted. After all, I’m after a win. But as I enveloped my son in my arms after the buzzer blew, and as I listened to him describe the game in as much vivid detail as his eight-year-old mind could articulate, I’m not so sure that we didn’t get a win.

For Jadon, all of life is pretty much a win, whether on the bench or whether staying glued to his position on the court. Either way, he enjoys the gift of participation. And that, my friends, is a contrasting option that I need to receive as my own.

Thus, I am going to spend a few days on the bench this week watching you run up the scoreboard, all the while offering up my thumbs and my hearty cheers on your behalf.

I am not running this race alone; if “it’s” going to be, then “it’s” going to be up to all of us to see it through to conclusion. Sometimes from the bench. Sometimes sweating it out on the court, but all of the time, loving the game because I’ve been allowed to play it with you by my side.

I can’t think of a finer group of teammates with whom to pass the ball. Consider it passed, sweet friends. Play well. Play hard, and do it all for the love and glory of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I’ll see you on the other side of my bench time. As always,

Brotherly Love

February 10, 2009

“Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, ‘Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.’” (Nehemiah 4:13-14).

Some things are worth fighting for. Some people, all the more. Just ask my son.

While driving the carpool Friday afternoon, I listened to my eight year old explain to his sister and her friend his strategy for playground defense should the need ever arise. It went something like this:

“If they won’t leave you alone on the playground, here’s what you do. First, you could tell the teacher. Or, you could just ignore them. Or, you could walk away. Or, if that doesn’t work…

you could just find me.”

He was very serious, and I was humored. At least in part. My other part was internally screaming my motherly “hoorahs” for a son who loves his sister, so much so, that he is willing to protect her from the wild and wooly of a playground taunt.

I never knew the protection of an older sibling’s love, so when I witness it between my own children, I am drawn to the magic of their deep bonding. And while they occasionally rival their passions and their wills with all the red and fury of Pamplona’s running of the bulls, their love for one another always exceeds their momentary sparring.

As it should be.

Family love roots deep, and if those with whom we share our homes cannot be trusted to love us, and, therefore, protect us whenever the taunts of the playground mock their insistence, we are left to our solitary efforts at defense. And as defense goes, two is always better than one, especially when one of the two is bigger, stronger, and solely motivated by the sacred trust of family bloodlines.

The prophet Nehemiah understood the value of familial love. He exposed its depth by instructing the Israelites to work in families while repairing the walls of their beloved homeland. He understood that corporate focus would yield greater results than individual determination. The taunts of their playground were very real and very likely to make good on their threats. Single determination wouldn’t be enough to build the second half of Jerusalem’s walls. It would take the family—God’s family—working on behalf of one another and on behalf of a cause deemed worthy of the potential peril involved.

That cause?

The kingdom of God.

“‘Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.’”

Not … fight hard because if you don’t you and your family will die.

Not … fight because you have no other options.

But rather, fight because you’ve got a God worth fighting for—a great and awesome God who is worthy of your walls and your best efforts at protection.

When the Israelites forged ahead in their rebuilding with a hammer in one hand and a sword in the other, they did so knowing that they were fighting for something rather than against something. They were fighting for the preservation of God’s kingdom and for their families’ rightful place therein.

When the playground warfare surfaced, there was no telling the teacher, or ignoring the taunts of their enemies. There was no option of simply walking away from the threats. For walls to be built there must be laborers willing to put their hands and their hearts to the task. Thus, the option remaining for their playground defense (according to an eight year old and according to the prophet Nehemiah) was to find a bigger brother … a bigger sister … a bigger family that was completely and holy motivated by the sacred trust of family bloodlines.

By a love that roots for the life-giving truth that there is a great and awesome God worth preserving and that he is the only worthy gain of our hearts in the end.

Walls will come and go, friends. But God? Well, he remains. And if we’re not willing to fight for the truth of who he IS so that our brothers and sisters, our children and our parents, our neighbors and our friends might live and walk in that truth, then we are forsaking the sacred trust of our family bloodlines.

When we are no longer willing to put our lives on the line for the sake of our families’ salvation, then we have limited the grace of the cross which was never ours to limit. We are tied to Immanuel’s veins. They bled long and wide and high and deep so that you and I could find our rightful place in the kingdom that is now, that is to come, and that is solely within our Savior’s right to give.

When the truth of Calvary becomes the welcome taunt of the playground, telling the teacher (thus abdicating the responsibility to someone else), ignoring the threats, or walking away seeds very little toward kingdom gain. But walking the parameters of the playground with familial love as your anchor?

Well, this is when walls find their framing, families find their strength, and the enemy finds its eventual retreat.

Indeed, some things are worth fighting for. Some people too. One God, all the more. And in case you’re still not convinced, just find my son. He’s got a few things to say in the matter and the faith to back it up. Thus I pray…

Keep us to our walk of faith, Father, both at home and on the playground. Let us not fear the taunts of the enemy, but let us stand firm in the truth of your love for us. You are building us into your everlasting kingdom, where the stones of our brothers and sisters come alongside to build a beautiful witness of your promise and grace. Let us not forsake our voices and our hands in the process. Keep us to our mortar and to your sword until the wall is finished and our family … your family … is safe within its shelter. Amen.

PS: Our Spring study on “Esther” launches this evening. I covet your prayers, especially for the eight new additions to our group–that God would grip the soles of their feet and turn them inside out and on fire for the truth of who HE IS! Shalom.

Why I Loved My Day…

January 31, 2009

“From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the Lord’s name is to be praised.” (Psalm 113:3).

It’s nearly a new day.

Nearly.

Before I say good-bye to January 30, 2009, I wanted you know that I loved it … this day given to me simply because God’s grace allowed it.

By his breath, he has sustained me and measured my steps accordingly. Not because he had to, but rather because he delights in giving good gifts to his children. And while every day should be chronicled with my glad tidings and thankful cheer, most of them slip by without notice and without applause.

I should do better with my gratitude. Not because I have to, but rather because it is my privilege to do so. Thus, allow me a moment to tell you what I loved most about this day.

- It wasn’t the trip to Raleigh to pick up the “Esther” books at the Lifeway store or the new Meredith Andrews CD that I managed to sneak into the pile at the check-out counter.
- It wasn’t the extra visit to Kohl’s where I was able to pick up a good bargain on a black jacket.

- It wasn’t the stop at Andy’s on the way back into town for the $4.99 cheeseburger special, complete with crispy fries and a diet coke.
- It wasn’t the trip to Wilson to watch my senior son play basketball, although he did make my heart skip a beat or two.

- It wasn’t the Parker’s barbeque or the accompanying hush puppies while on my way to Wilson.

It wasn’t even the return of my college-age son who’s been MIA for three weeks now, although he’s always a good punctuation to a weary week.

No, the best part of my day wasn’t measured by the doing and partaking of all these things. Indeed, they were good, and I loved them each one. But what made them even better, what made them cause me to sit back and find a moment or two or even ten of thankful pause, was the fact that I shared them all with the man I call husband. The man who took my hand a season back, along with the hands of my two young sons, and promised to take care of us all of the days of his life and ours.

It’s not our anniversary. Today is not a day of any calendared significance in the lives of Billy and Elaine. It was simply a day that we shared with one another, rather than living our separate identities as is so often the case.

We laughed together. We walked together. We ate together. We worshipped God together with our new CD’s. We cheered together. We even yelled at the game officials together. We rode home together. We close this day together.

Together is a good way to spend a day. It’s a good way to love a day. It’s not always been the way I walk my days, but today? Well, today I did better at loving and at being in love. Today I stepped in rhythm with the man who’s been keeping pace with me for nearly twelve years now.

Not because he has to, but rather because he delights in being God’s good and gracious gift to me.

I didn’t deserve his love. There are times when I’m most confident that he doesn’t deserve mine. Still and yet, we choose to do love … to live love … to fight for our love because we love the life that God has given us together.

Indeed, I am a blessed woman who loved her day. I hope you loved yours. If not, there’s still time. Another day rests within your reach. Find someone you love and do some doing together. Let not today slip by without your notice or without the applause of your gratitude. This is the day that our God has made for you. He’s entrusted you with its unfolding.

Live it well. Love it better. And do it all in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is your sacred privilege to do so.

As always,

~elaine

Snow Days, Hot Chocolate, and a Sacred Trust

January 20, 2009

For Nick … you were the missing piece of our snow day. We love you!

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” (Proverbs 3:5-8).

Either we trust God or we don’t.

Today I’m stuck. Somewhere between my trust and my don’t. And since there is no middle ground, I suppose, that I don’t …

trust Him. At least not enough.

On a day intended for snow angels and hot chocolate and lots of lazy—a day designed for the simplicity of childhood understandings—I’m bogged down in the complexities of what I thought was a well-matured faith—a faith content and at peace with the unanswerables.

Instead, where peace usually reigns, there is a wrestling. Where contentedness usually flourishes, there is a mixture of emotions that scream their resistance. Where a well-matured faith usually roots, there seems but a few seedlings fighting for their anchor to the soil.

When my kids woke up this morning, they woke up to a snow day—a day off from school and from their usual routine of mandated learning. When I woke up this morning, I woke up to a day that requires my attendance in God’s classroom, where a mandated learning becomes my necessary if I want to bring health to this body and nourishment to this soul.

If my faith is to grow in its understanding of all things sacred—an understanding that issues from the wisdom and plans of Almighty God rather than my fragile attempts at the same—then I must be willing to lean into a deeper posture of trust.

What does that look like? Better still, how do I … how do we … get there?

King Solomon, rich in wisdom and with the pen to scribe accordingly, offers his voice in the matter.

“Acknowledge him.”

Acknowledge. The Hebrew verb Yada meaning “to know, to learn, to perceive, to discern, to experience, to confess, to consider, to know people relationally, to know how, to be skillful, to be made known, to make oneself known, to make to know.”[i]

To acknowledge the Lord is to simply and to profoundly know him. We lean into a better understanding and trust whenever we take the time to learn of our God, to consider his ways, and to discern his heart and mind in the many matters that fill ours with certain doubt and wavering belief.

To get there … to come to a knowing of our God … we must trust in the one resource that he has so amply provided for us. I’m currently looking at eight of them. Some opened up upon my bed; some waiting on the bookshelf for their turn.

Our Bibles—the living, breathing, and active Holy Word of God (Hebrews 4:12).

It matters not to Him what translation we read. We all host our own preferences. What matters to God is that we, in fact, read them. Ponder them. Find ourselves somewhere within the story which, in turn, always finds us in close proximity to the heart and mind of Father God.

Charles Spurgeon writes (in reference to Jesus Christ),

“He knew by His omniscience what was the most instructive way of teaching, and by turning at once to Moses and the prophets, He showed us that the surest road to wisdom isn’t speculation, reasoning, or reading human books, but meditation upon the Word of God. The quickest way to be spiritually rich in heavenly knowledge is to dig this mine of diamonds, to gather pearls from this heavenly sea. When Jesus Himself sought to enrich others, He worked in the quarry of Holy Scripture.”[ii]

Knowing God will never happen through accidental measure. Rather, it comes with the purposeful pursuit and with the intentional posture that is willing to enter into God’s classroom, where the only required textbook is the one that was written from his heart via the pen of man’s deliberate obedience.

If our paths are to be straight, if our trust is to be certain, if our bodies are to know the health and the nourishment of solid footing and sound theology, then we must be willing to walk contrary to our human nature. We must set aside our momentary need for instant understanding and, instead, rest upon the truth of God’s understanding.

Our wisdom will never exceed his. Our wisdom should be based on his, but even when wisdom seems a far reach—when answers remain at a distance and our doubts arise as to their certain arrival—we can know that our Father thinks with a greater understanding. An eternal knowledge that is timeless and void of the parameters that we so often seek.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to limit God’s work in my life. I don’t want the doubt that I currently hold in my hand to be the final word in the matter. I don’t want the answers just for the sake of having answers. Rather, I want to trust him for more. I want to know him more and to believe that with the knowing will come a wisdom that exceeds my current and very temporal way of looking at things.

An understanding that can, every once in a while, take a day off to enjoy the simple faith of child who isn’t worried about tomorrow, but instead, is frolicking in the embrace of winter’s gift. In the trust and belief, that snow angels and hot chocolate are the order of the day and that everything else will takes care of itself, in God’s time and in God’s way. Thus, I pray…

Give me the trust of a snow day, Father, when I can rest and enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the moments to come. Thank you for the gift of your Word that allows me to know you, thus finding my peace for the journey. I freely admit that I cannot understand the road ahead. I am frustrated by the unanswerables that have found their way into my hands. Give me the courage to place them into yours. Teach me the trust and certainty of a sacred leaning, and keep me at your feet until I pass the exam. May the treasures of your Holy Word be the rocks that build my solid and sure foundation for the season to come. Amen.

[i] Baker and Carpenter, entry for “Yada,” The Complete Word Study Dictionary Old Testament (Chattanooga: AMG Publishers, 2003), 3038.
[ii] Charles Spurgeon, entry for “January 18,” Morning and Evening (Hendrickson Publishers, Inc., 1995), 37.

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