Where I Used to Live

Where I Used to Live

“The LORD said to Abram, ‘Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you.’” (Genesis 12:1).

God’s people are a people of movement. From the very beginning of an Eden’s expulsion, we’ve been spreading our outward influence. One home at time. One town at a time. One state at a time, and for some of us, one country at a time.

My outward has included sixteen homes, eight towns, and five states. I’m confident there will be a few more “outwards”before God calls me home.

Home.

They say you can’t go there … ever really return to the place that you once called home and have it be the same, feel the same, carry the same weight in your heart that it once did.

Yesterday I tried. To return to the place…

where I used to live.

An unplanned doctor’s visit took me there. One hundred and fifty round trip miles out of my routine on a day when I needed the beauty of a routine’s homecoming. A day when kids donned their backpacks for the post-Christmas return to school and when the college eldest packed his car accordingly.

It would have been lovely to retreat. To stay in the warmth and cover of a Monday. But lovely isn’t always our luxury. Routine isn’t always our comfort. Sometimes we forego the usual for the sake of a greater purpose—a purpose that requires our return to the safety and harbor of a “used to” because our “used to” is sometimes best used in our now.

The understanding birthed in our long ago and far away can be the sure and vital anchor that serves us in our now.

For me, my “used to” was a long-standing relationship with a doctor in whom I place my highest confidence. And while I have many other reasons for returning to the community that I called home for four years, my visit yesterday was singular in purpose.

My health.

I can’t think of a better reason to return to my “used to.” Can you?

I’ve been back for funerals; for weddings; for baby showers and for all manner of impromptu gatherings with friends. We loved our lives on the Pamlico River. During our tenure there, we added two children to our family and watched as our older two sons grew from boys into young men. When we moved in 2004, our pockets were filled with enough stones of remembrances to commission a large and lasting memorial.

It would take us a long season to recover from the grief of our “letting go.” But we did, we have, and the place we “used to” call home has been replaced by the community that now houses our hearts.

I am thankful for the outward pulse that exists within me. And while I don’t always readily embrace its rhythm, I value the portrait that it paints. It is a picture that breathes with the truth and understanding of our Father’s intention for our lives.

God means for us to move beyond ourselves. For some of us, it’s a literal move. For others, it’s an inward resolve to become an outward person. Regardless of our physical locations, whether it is one or many throughout our lifetime, God has set his “go” into our spirits. Not because he’s trying to make our lives difficult, but rather because he’s allowing us to make his matter.

His life. His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In us, through us, and beyond us as we walk our obedience and scatter his seed accordingly. We need not fear the corners that lie ahead. Instead, we can turn them with the confidence of all eternity. Why?


Because the understanding birthed in our long ago and far away can be the sure and vital anchor that serves us in our now.

Long ago and far away, God interrupted the place where you used to live with the truth of your forever—the place where you will always live.

At home with him. He is the only place where you can truly return, and have it be the same, feel the same, and carry the same weight in your heart that it always has. You carry that truth with you wherever you go.

Thus, no matter your station in life, no matter the twists and turns of your current “going,” God is your Confidence, and the long-standing relationship birthed with him on this side of eternity secures your heart’s health for the outward obedience required to get you there. To get me there.

To our final destination where feet no longer gather dust and where hearts no longer grieve the pain of our letting go’s. Until then, may the consecrated ache that precedes our arrival be the eternal fuel that keeps us moving, with an eternal “go” in our spirits and with God’s kingdom end in mind. Thus, I pray…

Bring us home, Father, to the place where you have always lived. Forgive me when my temporal dwelling becomes too important—when the aches and pains of my moving beyond myself exceed the portrait of my eternal journey. You have made my faith to be a moving faith…a progressive and outward influence that refuses the stagnancy of an inward focus. Keep me moving, Father. Whether in this current station of life or in another, never let me forget that my steps are forged with the truth and love of an unseen kingdom that is calling me onward and upward to receive my crown and your forever kingdom’s rest. Today, I concede my heart and will for the outward pulse of the journey. Amen.

32 Responses to Where I Used to Live

  1. Elaine,

    You consistenlty amaze and thrill me with the beauty and power of your words…the pen that God has gifted you with, you do so well!

    Lovingly,
    Yolanda

  2. Amen Yolanda-I could not agree more! Elaine-God has gifted you with words. Words that cut and sooth my heart as I spiritually need. Living beyond myself-at home with Christ-I am willing to be made willing.

    In His Graces~Pamela

  3. I love this…

    God means for us to move beyond ourselves. For some of us, it’s a literal move. For others, it’s an inward resolve…

    beyond ourselves, yes, but with ourselves too, finding that we are loved in Him no matter where we are.

  4. As I look back over our moves and our homes, I can now see His purpose in them all. And you’re right, it’s all about HIS purpose, not our own. Oh, the work He’s done in and through us in each location!

    I just loved this! Love YOU and pray that your visit to the doctor was a fruitful and productive one.

    Hugs,
    Melinda

  5. Nearly every home I’ve lived in – from the family roost of my childhood to the many domiciles we’ve parked ourselves (some 12- 15)over a period of 40+ years – are the recepticles of specific memories. I can go to some and laugh, or gain a sense of equilibrium. Others bring tears as I recall the losses and failures they represent. His. Mine. Theirs. Life’s.

    I hope you’re 150 mile round trip trek was an exercise in affirming your longevity!

    Kathleen

  6. Elaine, I loved your line “But lovely isn’t always our luxury.” How often we find ourselves meeting that truth head-on.

    Also loved this: “At home with him. He is the only place where you can truly return, and have it be the same, feel the same, and carry the same weight in your heart that it always has.” I’m so thankful to have my true home in Him!

    Hope all is well with your health. God bless!

  7. How did you know? I’ve been dealing with “the going” for a few days now. The Lord is asking something of me that makes my flesh SO uncomfortable and has me begging to stay in this land, where I am comfortable but the Lord is sending me on…asking me to trust and obey.

    Thank you for reminding me once more of just whom we serve. A mighty God. A Strong God.

  8. Hope you got good news from the doctor? I always worry when I hear someone has made an “unexpected” trip to the doctor!

    I have been living in this same house now for the past 33 years! This is where all my children were born and grew up. Way out here in the woods! I can’t imagine having to pull up stakes and move now! Except to move to heaven! Although this has been “home” for me for all these years, I know I will feel more “at home” in heaven because everything will be perfect and best of all, we will be with Jesus.

    Love ya sister!

    Marilyn

  9. Oh that I would go and make Him matter. I desire to have a willing heart that simply goes, without asking the wheres, hows and whys. Hope you doctor visit was routine.

    In Christ,

  10. Elaine, it’s almost five years ago now that the Lord called us to move. We physically made the transition, but I must confess to my heart being left behind. This was a necessity move and although I recognized and accepted the need I have struggled with this new location being ‘home’. I keep thinking of it as a stop-over; a place between where we were and where I want to be. In some respects I realize this is good, because it is a stop-over between now and eternity, yet on the other hand I’m not embracing the land where God has chosen to place us now.

    For Christmas I received some stenciled Wall Art. (It’s a scripted message meant to be rubbed/transferred onto a wall.) I suggested my husband make a wooden plaque I could transfer it onto so that “when” we move we could take it with us. The Lord has really spoken to me of my restless, discontented heart. I am going to apply it as intended – right onto a wall in our home – and let it give testimony of my heart welcoming His plans for me in this land where He has showed us.

    What does the wall art say? “Home is where your story begins.” He has already written chapters “where I used to live”. Looking forward to the story ahead as I continue this journey.

    Continuing in prayer for you. Please keep me posted.

    Love ya,
    Joy

  11. This was just beautiful! I love to hear the words that God has given you to share with us. Hope and pray that all went well.
    Love you!
    Susan

  12. Elaine,
    This is so lovely. I have only lived in two states and three homes my entire life, so part of me loves the idea of exploring new places. You have captured the beauty of your journey and the emotions surrounding it so beautifully and poignantly.

    Thanks for your beautiful words as my bedtime story. Good night.

  13. God moved us to our current home 15 years ago. Our lives were forever changed…physically, spiritually, emotionally. He has blessed us immeasurably by placing us exactly where HE wanted us to be. It was HIS timing for HIS purpose. I’ll share the story with you someday. :o)

    Praying that all is well with you!

    Love you~

  14. amen amen amen, in agreement and made it my prayer also.

    His will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In us, through us, and beyond us as we walk our obedience and scatter his seed accordingly. amen again girl!

    I feel the Lord calling me each time I write a devotional, to also put, Thy Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven. I praised God to see another of His daughter’s writing this. We pray it all the time Our Father,,but to TRULY say,,’Thy Kingdom come on earth!!’ well it has brought me to tears lately…

    Elaine, can you email me? I have sent you an email in your outlook email, but I’m not sure if it has gotten into the junk mail or not? I know this has happened with a few other ladies. I wrote the email
    last Saturday, a ramble to ya,,lol.
    I’m BLOWN away, I won,,WOW…didn’t even know it,,lol. Paula (His Living Sacarfice) called me when I was in bed watching a Christian program…praise and glory to God. What a blessing, and thank you for your blessing…

  15. Ah, Elaine, I can not wait until I am finally “home”. We’ve moved about as much as you have; I’ve stopped keeping count.

    The permanence and the roots for which I long are but a hope while I’m earthbound. I am “longing for a better country–a heavenly one” (reference Hebrews 11:16).

    In the meantime, my faith makes me sure of what I hope for (reference Hebrews 11:1), and my encouragement comes also from Abraham, who “By faith … when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents … For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.” (Hebrews 11:8-10)

    I do pray that your visit to the doctor was for a proactive wellness exam. If there are specific health concerns for which I can intercede in prayer, please let me know.

    Thank you, too, for NIGHTJOHN! (And, thank you, Jadon, for selecting my name!) 🙂 I do look forward to receiving it, and I thank you for sharing the treasure you unburied.

    Wednesday blessings in Him …

  16. Absolutely gorgeous and thoughtprovoking and a wonderful object lesson. Abraham has so many lessons to teach us, doesn’t he? Thank you for sharing it.

  17. wifeforthejourney:

    Thank you for your reflection on what we have left behind, and how it has helped shape our now. The closer we grow to the Lord, the more we will feel like “aliens and strangers” in this life.

    I have loved each place we have called home. The seasons of life have not always been easy, (most of us don’t like change) but there have been things to love about each place. How blessed I feel to look back and see how our past has allowed us a gracious present. The Lord has used each earthly home to make our current dwelling so much more than just a place to lay our heads.

    May we find God faithful to keep us anchored today and every day. You help me stay grounded in Him, and your presence gives our family a real since of security, whatever storms may come.

    Love always,
    Billy

  18. What a beautiful reminder! Thank you! I don’t currently live in the ‘home’ of my heart–or even second runner up. Truthfully, I’ve been struggling to feel ‘home’ here much at all. But of late I have been thinking more about my forever home, and helping my boys see its importance too. And the funny plus of it all is the more my heart remembers its true home, the less it matters that I don’t feel it about this place.

  19. For some reason your words make me think of my Bible. With each move brought so many unknowns, lacked the familiar and brought new adventures. One thing that was always the same was my Bible. No matter where I was “home” was reflected in the highlighted parts of my Bible and the new understandings it brought.

    I had to get a new “home” about a year ago. I lost my Bible of some 20 years and it was odd how unfamiliar it all was without my notations, underlines and highlights.

    We moved into a new house this past summer and it’s just the same. No marks, no special places yet and as the months unfold this is now our home.

  20. Elaine, God always blows my mind when I read your words. They’re so powerful and empowering. Praise GOD! Thank you!

  21. Elaine,

    What a beautiful tribute to what sounds like a very special time in your life…and to where you are now. I have found that living where I am now can be a challenge sometimes! But it is what He desires…I love how you take me there, Elaine.

    I’m still emerging from the holidays…it’s a slow rising!

    Love you,
    Laura

  22. Beautiful post, Elaine. I especially like the line, “Because the understanding birthed in our long ago and far away can be the sure and vital anchor that serves us in our now.” I really love that. If ever an anchor was needed, it’s now.

  23. I know the pain of separation from “home”. For several months after we moved here I though my heart would never be the same. And pain unattended by the hand of God can lead to anger and eventually depression. Not a nice trip at all.
    I have begun to develop a love for this new home…..but it will never fill the longing that is there for the one waiting for me. The one prepared by Him.
    Funny how God has been speaking to me about home recently. Using those who live here to remind me that this is now my home. Hmmm, lots of thought swirling. Eventually I am sure they will make it onto paper. 🙂
    Can’t help but pray that the visit home brought what was needed for your health.

  24. Our deepest nostalgia truly is for Him, isn’t it?
    Can’t wait until we can trade in the yearning for the face-to-face delighting!

    Hugs!

  25. God has set his “go” into our spirits.

    Oh, that was so good!! I pray you received good news on your trip Elaine.

    I read a quote recently that goes well with this devotional.

    “To go to heaven to fully enjoy God is infinitely better then the most pleasant accommodations here. All is but a shadow…but the enjoyment of God is the substance. There are but scattered beams, but God is the sun. There are the streams, but God is the fountain. These on earth are but drops, but God is the ocean…Why should we labor for, or set our hearts on anything else, but that which is our proper end, and true happiness?” By Jonathan Edwards

  26. Amen and amen Mrs. Elaine. The Lord has used you to bless me again:)

    katiegfromtennessee

  27. I am right here,,,, right now….

    precious words… you are an excellent writer…

    May God use you always…
    connie

  28. Bless you Mrs. Elaine for your comment on my blog. This whole thing has been a huge lesson to me about trusting Him, trusting His heart toward me. Knowing that He loves me with all certainty. My pastor is also really big on not listening to your emotions, but God’s Word. I want to find that balance where I feel what He would have me feel about everything in my life, and at the same time, complete soberness of mind and circumspection. Because the enemy is like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. I don’t want it to be me(1 Peter 5:6-10).

    Blessings to you,

    katiegfromtennessee

  29. Yes, it’s so easy to get caught up in these earthly homes. But we’re just passing through. This isn’t our home.

    Elaine- that’s a lot of moves to make, my friend. I’m sure you have lots of memories. But you’re right God’s people are to continue moving. I want to be right where He places me.

    I hope the doctor appointment went well.

  30. I pray all is well? May God who loves us so much be the great I AM for you His most precious daughter.

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