There is a difficult tug that exists within my heart.
A pull between my love for the plow and my longing for a backwards glance. There exists a sacred tension between the two because I am cut from a cloth that weaves accordingly. God seeded within my temporal flesh the eternal possibility of a life beyond my flesh. Thus, the rub.
Flesh verses forever … housed together within each one of us, requiring that we understand and overcome the strain that exists between these extremes. We were made the plow; yet, we are prone to a backwards glance. And somewhere in the midst of our understanding the difference, we must overcome our fleshly tendencies in order to undertake the higher cause of Jesus Christ. If we refuse the learning, we are as useless before God and in his service for the greater good of humanity.
I felt this simply and yet profoundly in the past week. There is a new song out on country music radio, and I liked it the first time I heard it. It had a good beat … a lively rhythm and a catchy chorus that awakened my interest. But after a first listen and further examination of its questionable lyrics, I realized that it was not a song I should further indulge. Not because I am bound by legalism, but rather because it tugged at something deeper within me.
A backwards glance.
A life I no longer live, and yet a life that I can quickly retreat to in a moment’s pause. Sometimes through a song. Sometimes through all manner of triggers that call for my retreat. And because I am not in the business of retreating from God’s calling upon my life, I must refuse the invitation.
Because God’s Spirit lives inside of me, it is within my power to do so; but when I neglect his promptings, when I choose a backwards glance over the plow that grips my heart, I lose a portion of the holy ground that is mine to claim and mine to plow for God’s kingdom agenda.
A cluttered mind filled with a backwards longing is a mind unfit to move on with God.
He said as much to a few well-meaning pilgrims who intended to join his cause, but who refused his calling (see Luke 9:57-62). At first glance, it is a difficult teaching to understand. Jesus’ words seem harsh; after all, these men simply wanted to bring some closure to their past before moving on with Jesus in their present.
He calls into question their motives and their usability within his kingdom purposes:
“‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’” (Luke 9:62).
What a reproof! What a rejection. It is warranted, but the reason for Christ’s stern rebuke is often missed, simply because we are painfully focused on the severity of Jesus’ response.
The culprit for his reprimand? Four seemingly harmless words spoken by both men, yet when placed in context alongside the Savior’s sacred call for discipleship, words that became hugely complex and worthy of a harsh reproach.
“‘Lord, first let me… ’”
“Lord” and “first let me” is an unholy coupling. My firsts and the Lord’s firsts are incompatible. We cannot claim him as Lord and still harbor a “me first” within. We can try. In fact, we have mastered the vernacular. We simply cloak our “me first’s” in less obvious and less offensive terms.
We don’t mean to; not always. But on each occasion when our minds trade in the plow of God’s current for the pull of a backwards glance, we offend the cause of the cross for which he died. We are limited in our holy usefulness because our “first let me” takes the lead. And when it comes to the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the seeding of it within the soil given to us for the plowing, his leading takes a back seat to no one. No thing. No memory. No backwards glance. No time for another agenda other than the one that he has entrusted to us.
If we choose to bury his agenda in favor of our “me first”—our backwards glance that refuses the pulse of the present—then we need to understand that little, if any, kingdom influence will be allowed our flesh. Period.
When God calls, God requires a response. And if our response is anything but a resounding “yes” to the present and to our beyond, we will remain shackled to a past that breathes without hope and within the boundaries of an irreversible history that has already been written.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be stuck in my history. I want to be present with my Jesus in my now. I want to move forward with him. With my hand to his plow and his earth beneath my feet. With his seed in my heart and his yoke around my neck. I want to walk the fields of harvest with Jesus, sowing and watering and gleaning to the outer edges of my faith.
I don’t want to miss his ahead because of the “me first” of my behind. Honestly, I can’t think of one moment in my yesterdays that is worthy of sacrificing one moment of my now with Jesus. Can you? If you can, may I be so bold to suggest that you are going nowhere with God?
You’re stuck, and being stuck isn’t an excuse for staying as you are. You are a sinner saved by grace who is given the high and holy privilege of moving onto perfection. It is within your power to do so because, if you are a Christian, you house the presence and the living power of God’s Spirit within.
There is no mystery to your moving forward. It simply requires your refusal to longingly entreat the pull of a backwards glance. Backwards glances come in all shapes and sizes. Maybe through something as simple as a song, a book, or a television show. Maybe through something as complex as a relationship, an addiction, or a sin that entreats your imagination and pulls hard at your will. Regardless of the trigger, if allowed safe sanctuary within your mind and your heart, its voice will be heard.
It sounds a lot like me first. It sounds a lot like retreat. It sounds a lot like refusal.
And whenever we refuse God’s invitation to follow, his voice will be heard. It is louder than ours and cuts with more clarified precision than any justification we can offer in the matter. And that, my friends, sounds a whole lot like holy rejection—a painful contrast to what I truly and deeply desire.
I want to be fit for kingdom purpose. I want the privilege of sacred participation in the higher cause of Jesus Christ. I want the same for you. Thus, I pray…
Purify and cleanse our minds, Lord. Purge and eradicate the “me first’s” from our wills. Let your plow be our portion and the pull of a backwards glance be our refusal. Fill us to the outer edges of our flesh with the wild and untamed overflow of your Spirit. You are our future. You are our forever. Keep our eyes fixed accordingly. Amen.
Copyright © October 2008 – Elaine Olsen. All rights reserved.
I love your blog! I am a Pastor’s Wife too. : )
In fact, my husband taught all about what you shared in this post today (great stuff).
May the Lord bless you and continue to work in you and through you. You are a gifted writer… thank you for sharing.
All for Jesus,
Julie
This was encouraging, Elaine. My husband and I just discussed something similar to this today. It’s so important that we have forward movement in Christ and not look back. If I can be honest, as I was grocery shopping today, I had a thought to purchase something that I ‘knew’ would be a hinderance and force me to go backwards a little. Thank God for the conviction of the Holy Spirit and that I didn’t buy it. I want to be right with God and my love for him exceeds whatever momentarily satisfaction the world can give us. Thank God for his grace in our lives.
Blessings to you Elaine!
Love, Hugs and Prayers,
Kennisha
“Let your plow be our portion and the pull of a backwards glance be our refusal. “
What a powerful prayer. One I will be praying from now on.
I’ve missed you! I read your Father’s Heart post and was so moved…I couldn’t even comment. And now this.
I’m so glad you are back even if with a new posting schedule. I’ve been there. I understand it. I support it.
Oh Elaine, did I EVER need this this morning. Those backward glances and “me firsts” have been invading my mind entirely too much lately, and I KNOW I didn’t realize it until I read this amazing piece. Bless you, my dear, and thank you for pointing me to His path.
“I can’t think of one moment in my yesterdays that is worthy of sacrificing one moment of my now with Jesus.”
What an excellent insight. I pray that the Lord will bring it to my mind often.
In a note to a friend the other day to share a link to your site, I wrote that you remind me of a “female Spurgeon”–your writing is not to be skimmed over, it is to be pondered. Thank you, Elaine, for forcing us to slow down to grasp the deeper meaning…blessings..
Sita
Amen Elaine! Excellent blog and message this morning. With love, Carolyn K. (hugs from your L.A. cuz, still a Cubs fan;)
Elaine, backward glances and “first let me…” — what great food for thought. And way to be alert to the evil one’s scheme as he tried to get you to take a backward glance through the song you heard. That happens to be a perfect example of something I posted about yesterday.
Blessings to you this week!
A powerful truth!
I have wasted untold hours considering (and allowing my thoughts to be taken hostage to) far too many vain imaginings.
Give me the sweat and callouses of the plow anyday.
Kathleen
“Lord, first let me…” Thanks for gently sharing such truth in those 4 words. The oxymoron found between “Lord” and “first let me”. As been often said before, He is not Lord at all if He is not Lord of all.
It is a hard following – the road is narrow. In our immediate obedience we often have to trust in His hands the ‘family’ who doesn’t understand our response, the ones with eyes fixed on our backs, sometimes even hurt by “the plow”. We have to trust that the Lord will tend lovingly to the ‘field’ left behind in our new following.
These choices can be large and small. How often when He calls my name and wants to spend some time with me I can say “Lord, first let me”…grocery shop..or..tidy the house..or..prepare supper..or make this phone call….etc…
Longing to hold to the plow and follow,
Joy
Thanks for your sweet encouragement! It blessed my heart!
O Girl – this is one of my most favorite passages of scripture. Probably because I can so relate. “Yes Lord, but let me do this first, and that first.” I love the Message version of Luke 9:62. Seize the day! Each moment – just follow Christ – no backward glances. Thanks for sharing today.
Your picture for this entry is simply beautiful. Great post. Thanks!
Hey Elaine,
Another great thought, and awesome heartfelt prayer.
I could not help but think of this song as I read your post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQY2auav8Qw
Hey, stop by, I’m having a give a way now!!
Your post never ceases to amaze me. The message always seems to fit with my current longings and spiritual studies. Today I read from the Beth Moore devotional Breaking Free Day-by-Day “Like me, you’re probably overwhelmed by the enormous responsibility of our callin to bear Christ’s name and reflect His glory. We’re imperfect creatures! How are we supposed to help others recognize something of God just from their watching our lives and knowing us? Sure, we’ve fallen short and missed the mark in many, many ways. But anyone who knows our God knows He is far too tenacious to be thwarted by our sin. Jesus Christ Himself dwells in the life of every believer, and we are able to glorify Him to the degree that we externalize the internal existence of the living Christ”.
My heart longs to serve more fully in ministry yet I am hearing God say I haven’t taken all of “me” out of the picture. There is a part of me that wants others to look at me and say “wow, look where she has some from” aor “see how God has used her despite her past”. Too much me. Too much of looking back…still.
May He grow our spiritual vision so that we can see the eternal-the future.
Sorry so long. Your writings stir my heart and thoughts!!
In His Graces~Pamela
This is rich, Elaine. Rich in truth. I am moved…and find myself unable to verbalize how this post touched my heart, but please know that it did.
I love you and thank you for your encouragement on my blog. God is rocking my world these past three weeks. I am empty, but full of Him.
I have been entertaining company since Thursday, but I will be getting to my email in the next couple of days and yours is a priority. Not a have to, but a want to. 🙂
Lisa
We continually work with Christopher on FTO…. First Time Obedience. Meaning… it doesn’t take two or three or … times until he obeys. We want him to learn to obey… immediately. And how God so longs for us to immediate obedience. The more we have FTO the easier it becomes… and unfortunately, the opposite is true, too.
Thanks for being obedient, Elaine.
Spoken in a way that goes straight to my heart. I hate to admit that there are times I succumb to the backward glance…not so much in big, obvious ways, but in the small, yet still important ways. I want to be forward focused in all ways.
“I can’t think of one moment in my yesterdays that is worthy of sacrificing one moment of my now with Jesus.”
So very true and worthy of keeping at the forefront of my mind… Thank you sweet friend.
Blessings,
Tracy
P.S. Praying your Dad’s recovery goes smoothly.
Wow! This was wonderful and encouraging and what I needed to hear today. Thank you for this, Elaine. You have a way with making scripture very clear.
Man…that’s a difficult passage to read, isn’t it?
It speaks to my soul, this day, as I am convicted in its reading. I tend to like my loose ends tied up, nice and neat, and after receiving a call from the Lord, DO SAY, “okay, Lord, but FIRST, LET ME…”
Therein lies my most common struggle with obedience.
Ouch, and thank you.
Hugs,
Melinda
I have been there, Elaine. It is funny how music speaks to us, and has power to carry us to different places. A few years ago I made a deliberate decision to be careful about what I listened to for this very reason. such great observations from your keypad!
We are home from New York and what a blessing this trip was. God has an amazing way of revealing Himself in everything when we look for HIm.
Smiles to you, Elaine!
Laura
I know this message. It is one that He has been dealing with me about. I was really stuck…taking a plow through rough situations in life without Him there…not a good idea.
And once stuck all those old companions from the past were only to willing to step to the forefront.
We are up and moving forward again and He is cleaning up the mess I got myself into.His yoke is so much easier!
Great words girl.
This is another post that rings deep within the walls of my heart. You point out words that now YELL out at me with such force, but in a good way. I want to grab the plow and march forward. No more backwards glances. Oh the battle to walk with Christ. We must consistently surrender and feel the rub!
Excellent and challenging post! Strong and powerful truth. Thank you.
And thank you, Elaine, for sharing your thoughts about the “best stuff.” I’m right with you, leaning hard into the Father for words and direction of the plow.
God bless you, my friend, as you move forward in His calling.
Tiffany
“You’ll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind”
~Irish Saying
I thought this quote went quite well with your post.
Like you, I don’t want to be stuck in my history…ever. I want to move forward. I’ve told God many times, that I am thankful for the experience, but I don’t want to go through that again.:)
Beautiful thoughts, Elaine.
God Bless,
Amy:)
Thanks for your insights today.
Mmmm, Elaine. As I read, I couldn’t help but think that hindsight is not really 20-20 vision, is it?
Perfect vision is not looking behind but looking forward … faith first.